Your big sister Shelby is a cat celebrity. She's being photographed constantly, she's on the Internet all the time, and now she's been featured in the world famous Cat Shaming website. The reason for this, Johnny, is not Shelby's pretty face or her fluffy fur. Your big sister is so renowned because of her silliness. She sleeps in funny places, she says funny things, and she does mischief at every chance she gets, especially since when you are around. Her favorite activity of late is to meow her head off exactly when we're putting you to sleep. She also likes to bop you on the head when we're not looking.
You are a great little brother, Johnny. You love her enormously, regardless.