October 18, 2012

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory.

~Robert Brault

Dear Johnny,

As you grow up, you'll discover that everyone is such a specialist.  One time my neighbor, who has 4 kids, told me that she never let her first baby cry it out, but with the others she "just let them fuss".  Mommy thought about that long and hard, and came to the conclusion that it is a big stinky pile of poo-poo.  You see, Johnny, I believe that a bored baby is a cranky baby, and a cranky baby easily becomes a chronically unhappy baby.  I like to keep you occupied and certain of my undivided attention because I want you to be confident and stimulated both emotionally and intellectually.  I find a way to play with you, or to encourage you to play on your own, no matter how busy I might be.  I come up with creative activities (they are usually very simple, but effective - like blowing bubbles, smelling the spice rack, listening to music while learning to crawl) and I manage to do everything I need to do around them.  I want to be a successful writer, to be in shape, and to have fun, yet at this point of my life I find it of utmost importance that you are well taken of.  So I write while you sleep, I work out and shower while you are in your high-chair, and if I need some Mommy time, I wait till Daddy comes home and I take a break.  This whole "let them fuss" method is just an excuse for lazy thinking, Johnny.  It's easy to blame the baby for not having time, but I don't do that.  And it pays off.  

The moral of the story, I guess, is this: do you know how we managed to raise such a wonderful, alert, calm, and healthy baby so far?  By NOT LISTENING TO ANY STUPID ADVICE PEOPLE GIVE US.

You mean to tell me you don't really have my nose?!  Spoons don't sound like planes? The baby in the mirror is actually me?! Mommy, you are in trouble.

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