January 20, 2013

Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it.

Dear Johnny,

You are a good boy.  You truly are.  You're considerate and kind and gentle and sweet, and you prefer interesting games over wild games, but at the end of the day you are a boy, and boys tend to be hard to handle.  Boys are physical and active, and they want to constantly climb and wrestle, to take things apart, to drive things around, to chase and to yell their heads off.  I can't hide that sometimes this is just too much for me.  You see, I like to build things, and to engage in quiet, calm activities with you, but you lose interest after awhile and then it's yelling and climbing and wrestling all over again.

I put together a list of the things you like to do that are fairly tolerable and don't involve pulled muscles or punctured eardrums on my part:

1. You like to watch Shelby and Shakespeare flirt, and you like singing to them.  I don't know what your song really means, but I imagine it goes something like this:

Shelby and Shakespeare

Sitting on the windowsill

Staring at each other uncomfortably

First comes a sniff

Then comes a lick

And then Shelby ends up with a box full of kittens.

(this is not winning any poetry awards but hey, you are not yet 9 months old)

2. You like to take walks outside that begin with you riding in the stroller, and end up with you driving the stroller.

Because some babies are just THAT cool.

3.  You like to fish two particular toys out of the pile - the heart and peace-sign teethers, and to chew on them until the entire room is practically covered in drool.  Literally nothing can diverge you from that kind of fun, but I guess that seven teeth are not grown by being easily distracted.  It takes consistency and real character.  

4. You like to ride on your Daddy's shoulders.  Enough said.

5. You like to go shopping with me and to intimidate people by giving them long questioning looks.  You also like to play with the groceries I buy and to nibble on the squash.

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